(Click on article) As they say..

It might just be me. But yet till this day. I haven’t really grasped the meaning of the saying “everything happens for a reason”. So do people mean to tell me that no matter what I do to alter or prevent it. Destiny will always have the upper hand, call the shots and seal the deal? How unfair! You might take an exam a hundred times and still fail. Does this mean that your simply not meant to succeed or excel? Where is the justice in that?

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”

But what I do grasp is that relationships no matter how much you try to mend it, it might not be able to put back into place. It does not matter how long you have knows each other or how much you have experienced together. If one side simply stops caring there is not enough strength to hold the relationship up. In this case im pondering on relationships we all have dealt with or dealing with. Friendships. You would think that a person you consider a good friend will never deceive you, lie to you or shock you in an unpleasant matter just because “you go way back”. Well, you might just get a unwanted unshapely and extremely unpleasant surprise. I guess a real friendship is not based on how long you know the person or how much you have experienced together. Once that person turns their back at you and show their true complexion thats the moment you realize how important you are to them, or should I say. How unimportant.

From a personal experience I have tried to mend friendships for years. And I still am, sadly. Giving the person the benefit of the doubt. But the cycle of ” I simply don’t give a sh*# about you” seems never to stop rotating. Is it destiny saying something or should we sometimes push harder for what we believe could be salvaged?

There comes a point in every persons life were we STOP and priorities our selfs for once and let go. In this case, I think i´m just about to let go. After all, as they say.. “Everything happens for a reason”. Or as I say.. Are we just giving up to easily?

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”

-Marilyn Monroe

I am Judy May..

(Click on article) Friendships and self-ships

Apparently things aren’t always as they seem.

We might believe that we are loosing out on the things we usually were engaged with some time ago.  For instance.

I´ve been extremely busy for the past couple of months not eating, studying, working and having my usual refreshing five minutes of sleep every night leaving me no time to hit the social scene, in this case meeting friends. I imagined missing out on birthdays, the never ending casual ravings or the simples things like meeting up for a cup of coffee. Well, my case a tall glass of wine..

My reasons for “walking a stray” is rather simple. I wanted to better my self. In education and bank account! To do so, you sometimes have to make sacrifices (take time for your damn self!) and really focus. And so I did. I must admit it became a little boring, I felt that I was missing out on a lot. There were times that I felt the mood to meet up with them and go out to just to have fun. That is what us girls like to do. At least thats how the song goes anyway. But decided to priorities myself instead.

Since my face wasn’t appearing in social events like it used to I made the decision one day to call one of my friends to see how she was doing. It seemed like everything was exactly as they were the last time I was we spoke. which was (2000 years ago!!) approximately 6 months.

-Well, how is the job hunt going are you making any progress? – No, (she said), no time for it.. I was going to send more applications buuuuuut there was this club I had to go to… -Ok, ok! So nothing new happening with you at all ? – Nope. She said lightly.

Now, I dont have anything against people who don’t  have new things happening in their lives. You cant have fireworks shooting the skies every week either. But a person not doing things to better themselves is a dangerous company. Especially if your looking for ways to better your self. You might just get “sucked” in and follow the same bad habbit.

Days later I called another friend. She had an argument with one of the others and they both decied to take a “break” from their friendship. As I heard this, it was like hearing a story from when I was 14, you remember how childish we were back then right? We would have new best friends every 3rd week and ” love” a boyfriend every 3 months.. That is if the “relationship” lasted that long. -Really?? (I said), a break? I couldn’t believe that talking and working out once differences was to much or should I say to grown up for grown ups! I didn’t feel the need to ask her if anything new was happening in her life. It seemed to me that things were exactly as they where ten years ago. I was surprised. To an unknown eyed you would think that these people have everything well put together. I guess thats the magic trick of Facebook. Post a picture of yourself with a wide smile and people will think your life is perfectly folded. And not to mention, friendships in tacked.

I realized that I might not be missing out on as much as I thought. Just a whole lot of gossip.. And no one needs gossip right ?? (lies)

Sometimes putting your self first might be the perfect idea for your life. That way, you wont miss out on YOU.

I am Judy May

(Click on article) Us me and him

When it comes to friendships, some of us have actually vowed to stay friends until the end..

Remember on the playground when you and your best mates made a solum vowe that your friendship would never get shook by any core. Precious times. Also..Naive times. Back then we never imagined anyone coming inbetween the strong bond. Well, that was before our teen years started to kick in and one opposite gets attracted to another opposite. You might be able to relate.

Ever had a close friend… actually, bestfriend whom you would share everything with. If something funny happend that person would be the first you would call to share the laugh. I had one of those. Emphasis on HAD. We were friends for years.People always associated one with the other. It was a “twin thing” so to say.

Then one day she developed interest in a guy, he developed what I called it then a “flirt and go”. To my surprise they started to date for a while and rolling on to a more serious relationship. Ok- I thought. This guy is not going to be in our lives anyway, he just doesn’t fit. He´ll never get our jokes and this group of two is full! Months into their relationship we started to see each other less and less. The day me and her was suppose to meet each other he hold her that he was tired and wanted company. One cancelation didnt push me over the edge, so I let that one go and quickly “booked” a new appointment -We´ll meet as soon, I promise- she said. I didnt “buy” into her promise, I guess it was the sixth sense in me. Not to my surprise she canceled again, reason? He wanted something special for dinner that night and she had to cook for him. Raising my left eyebrow listening to this over the phone whilst nodding my head I thought to my self. Who have you become..!?

To be in a relationship is a sweet thing, Its a partnership. But does it mean to say your partners name more than you say your own. Is that love ? This happens to alot of females, not to mention men to. As soon as they get involved in a relationship, friends never see the sight of them. Was my contract of partnership expired as soon as something “better” came along ?

I was happy for her, didnt have anything against him. I Just wished she wouldn let her “single self” co-exist with her “relationship self”. Long before she became a WE.

Things still isn´t the same between us as he is still around. We do keep in touch. But nothing remotely close to how it was before. Its amazing how some people can juggle two jobs, study and maintain a relationship but not hold their friendships in tact.

I couldnt help but wonder. To be in a couple, do you have to put your “single self ” on a shelf ?

I am Judy May

(Click on article) Should´a would´a Valentine

And now it´s over!

St.Valentines day. The day we all are either dreading or looking forward to. But why dread or hype about it? I couldn’t  count how many people were complaining about this day. I´m sure you saw it to. On Facebook, Twitter etc. People were basically complaining about being single and how miserable it was.

On Valentines day I had a converstation with a friend of mine. She is in a realationship considered herself happy and content until this day. Her boyfriend did something so wrong and so tabu that she had to call me in an instance! He came home  late that night from work. Empty handed, no gift, no cards and no flowers too see. I asked her if she bought something for him. She replied in a “Barbie´essque” way. -Well, no.. I´m the girl. He should have got me something-

Not shocked from her response, she continued complaining about how all of her friends recieved cards, gifts and more gifts from their significant others. They had a big blow out fight and gave each other the silent treatment for most of the night. Now, personally I didn’t understand why she was so upset. He was as most of us non valentines day believers would call a good boyfriend. Why was receiving gifts from on a unofficial holiday so important? And why did the other presents he gave her over the years loose their essence?

Women keep going on the same routine each year on Valentines day. If your in a relationship, you expect your significant other to TOP last years gift in order to prove their love. What pressure! And if your single you go through a ritual of complaining, depressing and reflecting on old lovers. I doubt that we would be smiling if there was something called the “Give it all up day” and fights would break out because our boyfriends didnt get what they expected.

“He should have”. That had me thinking. Why are women today clinging on the small things and expecting the overpriced and overrated? When it comes to Valentines day.. Why are women should´ing all over their selfs ?

Did you know: Valentine’s Day generates about 535.48464 million U.S. dollars each year!?

I wonder why..

I am Judy May

(Click on article) A woman´s right to “SHOES” !

Working around the clock I decided to treat myself. And for a woman, treating herself consists of only two things. Eating something she knows would go straight to her hips and shopping. In my case shopping for shoes! Ive spotted some days ago these pair of lavender pumps in the window of one of my favorite stores or should I say ” The feel good center”. And they where 50 percent off!

They have shoes for every occasion. The ” I cant believe he dumped me, wait until he sees me in these” shoes. The “Dont hate me because im beautiful” shoes. And of course the all time favorite, the “My girlfriends would get sooooo jealous when they see me in these I better get em´!” shoes. And among others.

“My” store is fabulous. What wasnt so fabulous was the salesman. He was tall dark and ANNOYING. For some strange  reason every single time I´d step into my fabulous store this less of a fabulous salesman happen to work. What made him so annoying was the fact that he always wanted to strike up a conversation with me, fully aware I was a 150 percent NOT interested. I didnt understand why he could not get the fact that I was much more interested in all the fabulousness around me than I was in him. I mean “Hey baby,how you doin´” was getting pretty old  after the 6th time!

As I was trying on the lavender beauties he not to my surprise came up to me. –Hey baby ,how you doin! I continued gazing at my feet wrapped around the size 6 lavender shoes.

-Yo,babe im talking to you!

- What?!

- Take it easy ma, I just wanted to talk you know..

I decided to speak my mind I figured if I didn´t he would just continue. And most importantly, I have my rights!

-Look ( Smiling) I know what your motive is and to be honest im just not interested. That pick up line is dead, I mean hey baby how you doing sounds like something you got from F.r.i.e.n.d.s. Maybe if you started to talk to women with respect you wouldn’t be on this hunt?

Me, continuing giving him the “i feel sorry for you ” smile. He gave me a reaction I didnt expect. He smiled, noded his head and said. “Let me know if you need any help Miss” and walked away. I didnt know what he was thinking at that moment, but hoped he got my message. I believed he did. Until… I heard it again! “Hey baby, how you doin´!” Another woman stepped into the store. Well, he might not have fully understood my message, but at least I understand this. The next time I step into my fabulous boutique i´ll have a fablous yet peaceful shopping experience. After all.. I am a woman and I have the right, to “Shoes”!

I am Judy May.

(Click on article) Kiss and tell

It seems that no matter how honest we believe our selfs to be, there is always something we all have to hide. Even from bestfriends, there is always that something big or small they just dont know about you. Is it because we finally have grasped the fact that the world is a gamble, every man for himself and you cant trust anybody but yourself?

My biggest secret,(like I was going to tell) will dissolve one day. It already have in little bits and pieces. I didnt expect the reaction from those who found out. I guess self criticism is the worst criticism. Its like staring at your self in the mirror naked seeing an extra twelve pounds on your body when it actually not there. There are worse secrets. For instance, letting people know who you really are. In this case ive set my focus on sexuality.

Researches say that at the least one student in every classroom are either homosexual or lesbian. I didnt believe that until the last year of high school. A fellow student in my class was acting some-what feminine but not to the extend that he should have guest stared on The Jerry Springer Show! Off course the guys in our class made his life a living hell. Called him all sorts of names. And off course he denied the accusations claiming he was madly in love with a girl in our class.  Funny how he actually never tried to talk to her.. Poor thing. Now, years later he is a University graduate, proudly gay and in a relationship!..And might I add not affraid to show it! I admire him for coming clean about something that he knew would create high consequences! And unTOP of that.. Did I mention his dad was a strict army soldier?  What a wildexperiaWhat a wild experiance that must have been!

Speaking of wild…. I was finally on my way home yesterday from class when I  noticed a moving van outside my apartment with big block letters. “The Moving boys” it said. Stepping into the elevator it took me passed my floor and up to four stories over my apartment. Agitated as I was I figured, might just be someone trying to reach a destination just like me. In my case it was my bed. I couldnt wait to get back down to the seventh floor and rest! All the way up to the eleventh floor the automatic elevator door opened and I couldn’t believe it! There they were, two men with “The Moving boys” logoed  t-shirts trying to reach their “final destination“. Pressing number  seven as much as I could trying to look away from the freaky deakyness I noticing one of them wearing a wedding ring. I was thinking.

Why not in the moving van? I mean.. Thats what I would have done! (Laughing out loud! As they rushed to get dressed the door finally shut and the elevator took me home. I thought stunts like these only happened in comedy Hollywood blockbusters! I´ll tell ya.. I never laughed so hard in my life! But poor “Mrs.Moving boy”.

Some secrets are probably best kept a secret, others probably to obvious to hide. Tell the obvious before you get busted and blogged about!

This song couldn’t fit better! Enjoy! Lets go outsideeeeeeeeeeeee (Link below)

George Michael – Outside

JudyMay-OUT!.. Still cracking up! LoooooL!

(Click on article) Same OLD pattern

On a hectic day filled with studies and work I decided to meet up with some friends for a less hectic and no study rendezvous. We were sharing laughs, weekly updates on our crazy lives when…

“So we had a great time, but he never called me back!”. That was one of my friends. Complaining once again how she was on a date with this wonderful guy with this wonderful personality and the wonderful date they had. So she wondered. Why didn’t this wonder of a man call this wonder of a woman? She was sweet, smart and driven. What was the problem? Why didn’t he want to be become a frequent member of “Wonderland”. As she was sorry to say .. Rambling on, I stared at her drifting away thinking..

Maybe it isn’t the guys fault. Maybe its you. This wasn’t the first time she was complaining about a guy not wanting to want more. She had been dating for about five years and always having the same problem. Not only her. A couple of my friends were in that same slump. Male and female. But why them? These are honest good hearted people. Why have they yet to find that special someone or have yet the chance to decide themselves when a dating experience is at its end?

I honestly believe it is them. Were they just pressing the repeat button? Falling for the same type of person that was interested but not that interested for something more? One of my close friends even dated a guy that was gay. She didn’t know that until she spotted him at the mall one day trying on women’s shoes thinking no one saw him. No wonder he never returned her calls..

And it didn’t help that most of my friend had a more “personal” rendezvous with these people. Maybe not for some guys but for the females, doing that and having Mr perfect not calling you back can be gut wrenching!

Approaching womanhood my mother always hammered this saying into my head. “Don’t do it! Its like sharing your soul with a stranger and rummaging in someones bad Karma”.

So I was never the “type” to fall for the. “Hey, you wanna come up to me place and watch a movie?”. But as they say.. Fool me twice.. Shame on me. My mother would be ashamed.

What is their problem? Are they just bad judges when it comes to reading personalities and matching them to their own? Or are they just dating the same person all over again?

Are you dating new people? Or are you shaking the same old hand?

Think about it.

JudyMay- OUT!

(Click on article) Come REAL

This one is for the females.

Ait. Im not going to mention any names seeming how mature I am (Wink).

I have come across many conversations for the past two days regarding friends and their status in the “group”. Seems to me there are individuals that are still hanging on to that childish attitude. Favoritism, jealousy and enviness. Ok first of. Im sad to say that I know first hand how it is to be treated badly and being “over favouritzed”. Meaning someone “liking” another more than you. Reminds me of something that went down back in the day in kindergarden. Remember that?

As I first hand have witnessed and experianced my self, that their are always two and two teaming up with each other in a group of nine or ten. A bit childish isnt it ? Well its still going on. But why? Perhaps they think they are better than others? More attractive? Richer? More “Instyle”. Honey if you seriously believe that, please Do The Pretty Girl Rock somewhere else!

I have to say that I actually think its a bit funny. I mean, come on. No one loves a good gossip like us humans,be real. But when it gets out of hand, it gets OUT OF HAND. Its now looking like even though friends that have known each other for years find each other to become great enemies the minute the other party does something un purposely to hurt the other. I was shocked!.. Rumors FLYINGGGGG, status updates blowing up etc. Forgetting they were giving each other “love” hours ago. Girls will be girls ? Yes,but why must girls act children? If your twenty something years and still confused about who your real friends are, you got a dilemma. (No Nelly Kelly). When you are at that age, your at that stage in life were you are SUPPOSE to know who your friends for life are. I´ll raise my hand. Im in a dilemma. I dont know how it came to this. It cant be the fact that we are studying at different places. We always did. And it cant be that some of us are in serious relationships, cuz one or the other always sticks her nose in the couples business. What dawns on me is in that little circle of two, they will find each other arguing and going back to the other friends waiting for the person to apologies or start a conversation. Sad part is. When the rest of the gang see and are fully aware that two of the ten aren’t friends or speaking to eachother, they dont seem to care or want to fix the problem so that we all can reunite. I stop reacting when I hear about two or three having disagreements. What else is new ? I cant see the future but nothing comes more clear to me than this.

I honestly don’t see this group of GROWN women making it to forty side by side. If only all of us could start thinking like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte before its to late..

AND I KNOW Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Jasmin didnt sell out on their girls!

Us women are Divas, no lie about that. And a Diva is a female version of a hustler. But a hustler has connections. Think about that one.

My life is based on a true story, but there are some fictional characters.

JudyMay- OUT!

(Click on article) Get da boom´in!

I am one of those who praise a new week, month and years. Thats the meaning of new opertunities, fresh starts and a fresh piece of blank paper.

Aight so anything changed?

Its the forth day of the year and we swore to our selfs  that we would get on those new years resulutions rolling. Not that easy aint it ? I found that out when I started repeat the same o´l sentence in my head.” Ill do it tomorrow”

Tomorrow came showed its face. shook its head and walked away. It just goes by the old saying. “Easier said than done” Imagine DOING was as easy as SAYING. We would be more successful, happier, bolder maybe even thinner. And I know some of you want the last one to a high degree!

Got that girl you always had in the back of your mind but never approached her for some reason, lack of  courage, drive to do it?

Or find yourself in a group of friends you feel doesnt appreciate you and you want out?

Maybe in a relationship you know isnt going anywhere and your feeling stuck?

Get out. Cross those resolutions and live!

Cuz to be honest yall…We all live once (according to my belief).

You cant find your happiness on sale on a stand in the corner of a midway street, you create it yourself.

My list is long but ill break down a few:

1. Praying more.

2. Mowing the lawn.

No relation to grass. Mowing the lawn and removing all the snakes that are hiding sliddering in my life.

3. Joining a fitness club.

Ive been saying that for YEARS and years. And somehow managed to find an excuse to refuse. For some reason they all seem valid. But c´mon! Years!?

4. Finishing A BOOK. Yep never have. Shame isnt it ?

5. Surround my self with appreciative friends.

6. Etc.. etc.. etc.. etc.. etc… Its a long one!

Simply said.

Get ur lazy A#&#%? UP!!

Life is a Boombox with a missing pause button.

Let it play.

 

JudyMay out!

(Click on article) Reach 2011

What  year this has been.

All the crazy ups and downs we have gone through.

Some break ups, some make ups. Other epiphanies and others still clueless. We are approching the end of a year once AGAIN and I cant help but think about how lazy a large sum of people has been. I mean we all do it. We say it every January.  You see it on Facebook statuses, twitter tweets and so on.”This year is my year,” “No more laziness, im doing me” etc… The list goes on. As february snows in we find our selfs putting our new year resolutions on hold. Sound familiar? Something got in the way of you progressing and making a better life for yourself. How I hate that thing! Laziness, lack of drive and or even lack of courage.

Why is that ? Why is it so hard to do that little something or that big something that will benefit us? Even waking up to go to work that we get paid to do. Are we really that weak that we even cant push our selfs to be the best. Every one wants to be number one. But theres a couple of numbers that need to be climbed to get there.

We´ve all walked passed them and felt sorry for them, even given a coin or two just to show we care. Those unfortunate homeless people that barley have enough to fead or clothes them selfs and doesn’t know what the next day will bring would probably do anything to step in our shoes once again. I wonder. What goes thru their minds every time they see people throw away food because they are to full or just didnt feel like eating it anymore. Or families laughing and smiling with a bundle of shopping bags on their way to a warm home jumping in their shiny big family car fit for five. Their hearts must be breaking. I also wonder how they got them selfs in that situation and why families or friends didnt stretched an arm to helped them in their most time of need. So many answers to a few questions. We might say we are broke. Bur for real.. we haven’t seen broke. I hope we never will.  Imagine your self not having anything.What would you do?

What i´m trying to say is lets actually complete our new years resolutions this time! Even tho we see those less fortunate than us, we still dont know how it is to be in their shoes. Im pretty sure we wouldn’t like to experience it either.

Now, how lucky,fortunate and blessed  do you feel right now ? Life is a price, show how grateful you are. Go on. Reach for the stars, your arms are long enough

Do you until your done.

Don’t wait till January 1st to start chasing your dreams. Any resolution important enough to make for the new year, is important enough to start RIGHT NOW!

Merry Christmas and happy NEW resolutions ya´ll!

JudyMay- Out!… n reaching!